Don't you just love Dylan Moran?

I can practically hear anyone who has bothered to read this say 'huh?' And I don't blame you. Everyone laughs at the funny guy but no one remembers his name.

But everyone SHOULD know Dylan Moran because he is a comic genius and an utter legend. Which is why Ii introduced one of my friends to his great works tonight.

Of all the ingenious things I have heard him say, the one that seems to stick is this: "The ultimate human shopping list: I'd like some illegal, some forbidden, some frowned upon and some downright disgusting, please. I'll have that to go, thank you!"I think its because it so true!!

Take the illegal stuff. There are many illegal things that seem to be just common now like under aged drinking. Speaking mostly for the west, you will be extremely lucky to find a young, sober teenager on a weekend, regardless of how old-or not-they may be. Many people start drinking at an unbelievably young age, and there seems to be a competition on how low the number can go for each candidate. And then there's the smoking and the drugs, and the list of commonly occurring illegalities just goes on and on and on...

Then there's the forbidden stuff. I mean that goes way back to Adam and Eve (if you're a creationist) God specifically said to the dastardly duo; "DO NOT touch the fruit of the tree in the middle of this beautiful garden, overflowing with food to eat. Everything in this incredibly spacious oasis belongs to you, except THAT TREE"-maybe not in so many words...but you get the general idea don't you?? Well that makes-oh-everyone BUT Adam and Eve, the two people who needed to understand the idea behind the forbidden fruit the most.

The frowned upon. OK it's FROWNED UPON for an 80-ish year old man to date 20 year old identical twin girls while being engaged to another woman but hey look at Hugh Hefner now! He seems to be doing well for himself. Now can you blame anyone for thinking, "Screw it! I am going to add a dash of frowned upon into my life. What's the worst that can happen?" Well apparently you could end up loaded and living in a house KNOWN for housing promiscuous 'sexy' single women for the rest of your life. Now that isn't so bad...is it??

And then there was the disgusting. I will try to make this simple. My nephew spent the whole of February wearing the same pair of blue football socks. He wore them day in day out for the whole month regardless of my protests. They stunk like mouldy cheese and sweaty sumo wrestlers and he took pride in them!! It was beyond disgusting, It was revolting! I actually dry-heaved every time he walked passed-no joke. Yet he did it. And he had a great time too, bless his cheesy footed cotton socks :/ Admittedly it was mostly at my expense.

Don't get me wrong I don't WANT the ultimate human shopping list. I just wanted to rant really and now I am done so I will leave you with another slice of comic genius from the man of the moment: "I'm not a fighter, I'm a bleeder. The best I could hope for would be to drown somebody else in my own blood. If I don't drown myself before."

hahaha classic.