Time is of the essence

Do you know what the problem with people is? We always miss the moments! Your crush tells you they are moving across the world and your answer is “OK!” when really you want to scream “No! Don’t go! Don’t you dare leave me in this limbo!” The love of your life takes a sudden interest in someone else, and for the sake of friendship or diplomacy or Christ only knows what else, you practically organise their wedding for them. The whole time you’re thinking “I love you more than mere words can express” I will love you till China and Africa meet. But we never say how we feel. And on the off chance that we do confess our hearts desires, we do it when it is all wrong, then we apologise profusely for our awful sense of timing. I think it’s because we’ve come to expect so little of the world. Timing is of no relevance to you if you believe the outcome to be inevitable.

It isn’t just about love either, it’s everything. Having the opportunity to do something profound with your life and passing up the chance because you think you’re unprepared or unworthy. Really, all you are is afraid. Afraid that if we venture into the unknown, we might not like who we’ve become when we have to leave. Sometimes it is ignoring an opportunity to say something life changing to someone, honestly answering a question that you’ve spent so much time lying about, it has become second nature. We have all told that lie, when someone asks “How are you?” and you say “I’m fine!” with pride, joy and a beaming smile. But underneath it all you are far from fine. Of course I’m not asking us to hold our heart out on a platter every time someone offers a simple greeting. That would be slightly awkward. But there are times, you have to admit, when you just need to honestly answer: “I’m not fine, in fact I’m awful. My day has been horrible, my week even worse and if I have to smile and play happy families one more time I might actually pull my teeth out with pliers.”

It’s outrageous and scary, almost humorous even. But it is oh so liberating at the same time! The truth is we are all guilty of letting the important moments slip through the hourglass.