Patriotic in Diaspora

It's taken me a couple of weeks to write this. Here goes.

It's very easy for Nigerian's that are based outside the country to come to the conclusion that they are homesick, that they miss the food, the people, the land, the culture. And perhaps they do. But it is also surprisingly easy for us to forget that Nigeria is not the idolised country of our idealistic and naive childhood. Things are different. The people have changed. The country is crumbling. The government has gotten worse. We have our own in-house terrorists. Our land is terminally ill but because there is so much attacking our immune system we can't even figure out what the source is.

I was at Miango Rest Home in a little town not too far away from Jos in the middle belt of Nigeria for a 3-day retreat. Beautiful scenery. Amazing food. Great exercise. Everything was good and the people were funny and lovely. But being there for those three days was like being out of the country; I was beginning to live in a kind of blissful oblivion, forgetting the Nigeria that existed elsewhere. On the day we were leaving everyone we had met came to say goodbye. People here were so friendly that somewhere in my head I assured myself that what I knew wasn't true. I told myself that Nigeria hadn't changed at all! Of course not! I grew up in this country that was now making international headlines for all the wrong reasons. IF we had nothing else, we would always have our solidarity. But you can't sing solidarity with your brother one day and set him on fire the next.

On our way back home I changed my mind again. We hadn't wandered far from Miango Rest Home when my sister stopped to get some fresh vegetables from a market. (trust me cheapest bestest veg in the country!! lol). I stayed in the car with my nieces and watched through the window as my sister bartered fiercely with the women in their stalls. My eye suddenly caught movement in one of the car mirrors and I watched with a tightened jaw as a man was led by a rope through the market, a small crowd following and ridiculing him. The first thought that came to my mind was ALUU4. If you don't know what that is look into it but be warned it is gruesome. The entire story centred around the brutal murder of 4 allegedly innocent university students in the southern part of Nigeria late last year. The phrase in the media at that time was Jungle Justice-citizens taking justice into their own hands.

In all fairness to them, if there was justice in the justice system perhaps they wouldn't feel the need to take theirs to the jungle. Nevertheless all I could do was watch angrily as the man was paraded around the little market. As they left I couldn't help but wonder what would become of him. Would he be killed or set free? How would they kill him? I concluded there that my country had changed, not because there hadn't been similar cases when I was younger, not because Nigeria was some peaceful country in my childhood. My country had changed because it had evolved to the point where solidarity alone just wouldn't do any more. Words alone wouldn't do. Making far fetched plans for an ever changing future wouldn't do. We are worth more than words.

I hear people my age outside of Nigeria making plans and they are often divided into 2 main categories: those that are happy staying outside of Nigeria with the knowledge they have gathered. They are too scared or too nonchalant to go back home and make a change with everything that they've become. Then we have the ones that are all too happy to return to Nigeria to continue perpetuating the sins of their fathers. Very few people fall into the gap in the middle, those who want to help. But I've watched a lot of them fumble around in the dark because although they want to help, no one really knows how.

I'm not here to offer any insight or sage advice. I have my own plans. My thoughts today can be summed up in the fact that it is easy to love or judge from a distance. Come home and tell me how you really feel when you see kids bathing in a gutter, alleged criminals being paraded, shamed and killed, police officers putting up signs that say you cannot bribe them but still managing to extract money from your pocket before you leave the check point. Tell me how much you love the motherland after watching her bare all.

Nigeria is why I hate politics and politicians.

I weep for my country. I'm sad because most of us are too ignorant to know what we have and those that do know are too scared, unable or unwilling to do anything with their knowledge. Knowledge is power my foot. In Nigeria all too often knowledge is prohibitive. I'm sad because we are too content with the way everything is.

Yes people are dying, but it's not my family so who cares??
Yes people are laundering money but I have food to eat and it's not like I can do anything about it can I??
Yes my neighbour is getting robbed but if I try to help it'll all end up on my head and I have enough problems of my own thank you very much!!
It's happening but it's not my problem; let someone else take care of it.

If we constantly wait for someone else to take care of it then who ACTUALLY takes care of anything? We live our problems to someone else and they pile up like dirty plates in a kitchen sink. Charity begins at home; wash your plates.

Nigeria needs to wake up; at home and abroad we need to wake up. Your country is falling to ruins and you're sleep-walking in No Man's Land. What needs to happen for you to open your eyes?? Our president is pardoning thieves and keeping them in political offices. Government officials are saying no to helping the country's youth but yes to buying overpriced sports cars to celebrity couples. Planes are falling out of the sky like birds whose wings have been clipped and no one is being held accountable. The old voices are going one by one, clearing the way for young activism but there seems to be none to take its place.

While all of this is happening in the motherland what are you doing??

What am I doing??!! Nothing!! We're all doing nothing. SOMEONE has to have a better plan than "let's sit and see how this all pans out". I know I'm not the only one with a passion for the future of Nigeria. I can't be the only one thinking these things. I'm most definitely not the only one doing nothing.

I despair at the fate of our country and the selfishness of its youth. I worry that the only answer anyone seems to have is for us to become part of the system. We are all creative and resourceful people; let's think outside the box a little bit.

Source:
http://free-extras.com/images/homer_and_a_doughnut-1088.htm

The politicians and government officials?? They are sucking us dry. One day you'll wake up and the headlines will say something like "Nigeria has been dissolved". Like a bankrupt business, they'll melt us down and merge us with surrounding countries because greed made our bellies fat but our knees weak. 

The Holiday Entries: Christmas Day-

It's funny to me sometimes how adversely I react to going back to a place that was home for my first 13 years. It's even funnier still how little of the place itself I remember. I've got the whole "Nigerian in Diaspora" thing down to a T it seems. The sad part is that I don't particularly feel at home outside of Nigeria either. I think I fit perfectly into the category of what a friend of mine calls Confused Global Citizens; I manage to be simultaneously from everywhere and nowhere all at once. 

Merry Christmas everyone!! Peace to all and joy on earth and all that gollywash. So whilst everyone is digging into overly dry turkey and carolling I can’t even leave my house. I still have no bag. I spent the day (so far) cooking for dogs I hate and who hate me And I came to the conclusion that without proper editing, i.e. deleting the majority of this, it will never see the light of day. 

I received some bad news too about a dear family friend back in Manchester and Lord knows that alone has ruined my day. I received a call that picked me up though, so I'm thanking God for little blessings as always.

Also I told Mother I wanted to go see my childhood house, maybe take some of my father’s books with me. We have no driver at the moment and letting her drive all the way there from here is like actively seeking death so I’m hopeful but not optimistic.