Africa Is Not The Naughty Step

I don't know when it happened. I'm not sure what brought it on either. But there was a point in my life in England when going back to Nigeria was a source of great anxiety. It's a curious little thing really. I wasn't born in England and although I spent a significant portion of my life so far there I was, fundamentally speaking, brought up in Nigeria.

What I noticed fairly quickly was that this anxiety wasn't relegated to me or Nigeria. My friends from other African countries seemed to have the same problem. And you might be wondering where it came from. From our families! Parents, guardians, siblings, church folk all threatened us with the dreaded Africa. If you misbehave you're going back to Africa. You get bad grades we're shipping you off. Trying to act like these white kids? Back to the jungle you go!

There is something profoundly wrong with the idea that your home is a last resort or punishment for your children. You cannot instill that mind set into them from birth and then question why they refuse to return home when they come of age. Perhaps their threats were innocent. I can't say that I know for sure one way or the other. But as a race, black people are generally quite quick to point out when someone belittles them even we are just as good at degrading ourselves as anyone else.

My back-to-Nigeria anxieties didn't ease up until I moved to Dubai and visited home from here. Even though it was a fairly quiet affair, I was profoundly aware of a reawakening of senses. It actually felt good to be home! Surprisingly good. Yes NEPA still surprises you mid way through a meal by cutting the power. Yes the roads are still bad and the drivers are worse. Yes mosquitoes are still disfiguring my skin. Yes the politics, policies, work ethics and everything in between are questionable at best. But, somehow, it is still home isn't it? The food is still great, the people are still a crazy kind of joyful and there is no rain like the rain in the motherland. The fruit is fresh and the air is different and even when you're bored beyond recompense you find happiness and peace.

Perhaps I'm being a bit too unrealistic with my descriptions. My point is for all the criticism we Africans make against our home could we please take a minute to respect her struggle and uplift her? I don't think it's too much to ask. 

Purpose and Direction.

I have no idea what I'm having fro breakfast tomorrow morning or what I'm wearing to school. I still need to double check the time and location of my classes. I don't quite remember how long it usually takes for me to get to school from home around that time of the day. In actuality there is a lot that I do not know and probably a lot more that I am uncertain about in terms of the recent future. But ask me what plans I have for 5-10 years time and you are in for the rant of your life. I finally have the ever elusive purpose and direction that I have been lacking in my life and let me tell you, they are important elements to have.

I recently paid the motherland a long overdue visit. For once I enjoyed my flight and my visit. My month long vacation was packed full of life changing experiences. Furthermore, Nigeria is beginning to feel like home again. I can't really tell you why...Maybe I'm getting bored of Dubai. Maybe being around Nigerians so much in the last few years has finally allowed me to fully embrace my roots. Whatever it is, for the first time since I first left the comfort of my country I was sad to say "see you soon". I think this has a lot to do with my sudden realisations of what I would like to do with my future.

If you had asked me a couple of years ago what I'd like to do after studying, I'd probably have said something along the lines of wanting to travel and write. That's rather poetic but incredibly vague and not very promising. Now I'm finally making concrete plans of when and where I want to travel to, what I want to do and write about and most importantly where I would like to be based. Of course it's not something I readily admit to those who know me well, but I actually do want to live in Nigeria. I revisited parts of my country that I had all but forgotten and that was what reminded me of why it was so hard to leave in the first place. Not only do I have plans to live in Nigeria, I know what I want to do while I'm there. I now know how I want to help my country!!

YES I am excited. But I can't share the details of my plans I'm afraid. Moreover they wont be put into action for a few more years so lets all suffer the long wait together shall we??

P. S.
It's nice for you to stop by even when I'm not around to keep up appearances as it were...Thank you all for your support. 

Patriotic in Diaspora

It's taken me a couple of weeks to write this. Here goes.

It's very easy for Nigerian's that are based outside the country to come to the conclusion that they are homesick, that they miss the food, the people, the land, the culture. And perhaps they do. But it is also surprisingly easy for us to forget that Nigeria is not the idolised country of our idealistic and naive childhood. Things are different. The people have changed. The country is crumbling. The government has gotten worse. We have our own in-house terrorists. Our land is terminally ill but because there is so much attacking our immune system we can't even figure out what the source is.

I was at Miango Rest Home in a little town not too far away from Jos in the middle belt of Nigeria for a 3-day retreat. Beautiful scenery. Amazing food. Great exercise. Everything was good and the people were funny and lovely. But being there for those three days was like being out of the country; I was beginning to live in a kind of blissful oblivion, forgetting the Nigeria that existed elsewhere. On the day we were leaving everyone we had met came to say goodbye. People here were so friendly that somewhere in my head I assured myself that what I knew wasn't true. I told myself that Nigeria hadn't changed at all! Of course not! I grew up in this country that was now making international headlines for all the wrong reasons. IF we had nothing else, we would always have our solidarity. But you can't sing solidarity with your brother one day and set him on fire the next.

On our way back home I changed my mind again. We hadn't wandered far from Miango Rest Home when my sister stopped to get some fresh vegetables from a market. (trust me cheapest bestest veg in the country!! lol). I stayed in the car with my nieces and watched through the window as my sister bartered fiercely with the women in their stalls. My eye suddenly caught movement in one of the car mirrors and I watched with a tightened jaw as a man was led by a rope through the market, a small crowd following and ridiculing him. The first thought that came to my mind was ALUU4. If you don't know what that is look into it but be warned it is gruesome. The entire story centred around the brutal murder of 4 allegedly innocent university students in the southern part of Nigeria late last year. The phrase in the media at that time was Jungle Justice-citizens taking justice into their own hands.

In all fairness to them, if there was justice in the justice system perhaps they wouldn't feel the need to take theirs to the jungle. Nevertheless all I could do was watch angrily as the man was paraded around the little market. As they left I couldn't help but wonder what would become of him. Would he be killed or set free? How would they kill him? I concluded there that my country had changed, not because there hadn't been similar cases when I was younger, not because Nigeria was some peaceful country in my childhood. My country had changed because it had evolved to the point where solidarity alone just wouldn't do any more. Words alone wouldn't do. Making far fetched plans for an ever changing future wouldn't do. We are worth more than words.

I hear people my age outside of Nigeria making plans and they are often divided into 2 main categories: those that are happy staying outside of Nigeria with the knowledge they have gathered. They are too scared or too nonchalant to go back home and make a change with everything that they've become. Then we have the ones that are all too happy to return to Nigeria to continue perpetuating the sins of their fathers. Very few people fall into the gap in the middle, those who want to help. But I've watched a lot of them fumble around in the dark because although they want to help, no one really knows how.

I'm not here to offer any insight or sage advice. I have my own plans. My thoughts today can be summed up in the fact that it is easy to love or judge from a distance. Come home and tell me how you really feel when you see kids bathing in a gutter, alleged criminals being paraded, shamed and killed, police officers putting up signs that say you cannot bribe them but still managing to extract money from your pocket before you leave the check point. Tell me how much you love the motherland after watching her bare all.

Nigeria is why I hate politics and politicians.

I weep for my country. I'm sad because most of us are too ignorant to know what we have and those that do know are too scared, unable or unwilling to do anything with their knowledge. Knowledge is power my foot. In Nigeria all too often knowledge is prohibitive. I'm sad because we are too content with the way everything is.

Yes people are dying, but it's not my family so who cares??
Yes people are laundering money but I have food to eat and it's not like I can do anything about it can I??
Yes my neighbour is getting robbed but if I try to help it'll all end up on my head and I have enough problems of my own thank you very much!!
It's happening but it's not my problem; let someone else take care of it.

If we constantly wait for someone else to take care of it then who ACTUALLY takes care of anything? We live our problems to someone else and they pile up like dirty plates in a kitchen sink. Charity begins at home; wash your plates.

Nigeria needs to wake up; at home and abroad we need to wake up. Your country is falling to ruins and you're sleep-walking in No Man's Land. What needs to happen for you to open your eyes?? Our president is pardoning thieves and keeping them in political offices. Government officials are saying no to helping the country's youth but yes to buying overpriced sports cars to celebrity couples. Planes are falling out of the sky like birds whose wings have been clipped and no one is being held accountable. The old voices are going one by one, clearing the way for young activism but there seems to be none to take its place.

While all of this is happening in the motherland what are you doing??

What am I doing??!! Nothing!! We're all doing nothing. SOMEONE has to have a better plan than "let's sit and see how this all pans out". I know I'm not the only one with a passion for the future of Nigeria. I can't be the only one thinking these things. I'm most definitely not the only one doing nothing.

I despair at the fate of our country and the selfishness of its youth. I worry that the only answer anyone seems to have is for us to become part of the system. We are all creative and resourceful people; let's think outside the box a little bit.

Source:
http://free-extras.com/images/homer_and_a_doughnut-1088.htm

The politicians and government officials?? They are sucking us dry. One day you'll wake up and the headlines will say something like "Nigeria has been dissolved". Like a bankrupt business, they'll melt us down and merge us with surrounding countries because greed made our bellies fat but our knees weak. 

This is our Africa.

This is us. This is our Africa. This is the way we live, often not out of choice; we make do. This is where we wake up to pure joy and the beautiful sun glistening on our ebony skins. This is where we take casual walks in torrential rain without discomfort or fear. Our growth is stunted by your greed. But we are who we are; born fighters. It is going to take much more than your lies, deceit and exploitation to quench the flame that burns in our souls and shines in our eyes. The world will not remain silent to our cries forever, and even if it will, we will not. This is who we are. This is us. This is our Africa.

I will not pretend that my people were peaceful before yours came. Like much of the human race often is, we were at war with each other. I might even go as far as commending you for giving us a reason to be united. But even with our meagre wars before your arrival, we were better off. We had a system that worked, granted it would not have worked forever, but I assume we would have found a way to cross that bridge when we inevitably arrived at it. We shall never know for sure now. Your people came with talks of peace and unity but instead they brought with them war and division. They came to us preaching about giving when in reality they were all about taking. They came with talks of advancement when they were experts on recession. They took, they drained but worst of all they never left, not really. All things considered I think my people and I have acted fairly civilly towards you and your people, whether you deserve it or not. Often times when we react to the many ways you have and continue to taunt us, you deem our reactions childish. Our apologies for being the oppressed, sincerely. Yet we have one final request, if you would not mind terribly. I ask, like Moses did to the Egyptians, that you do us one insignificant favour: let my people go. I call it insignificant because we could ask for much more, but we will not. We will be independent, like we have been trying to be for years now, if only you’ll let us go. Call off the dogs, put down the weapons, yell retreat and surrender the motherland back to us. We are asking nicely. There is a revolution upon us.