Random Compilation

I have a flu today, plus I have so much I need to sort out but in the spirit of sharing, here are a few of my private thoughts:

I get quieter when I'm thinking. Not in the sense of thinking while having a conversation, no. I'm practically a multitask-er when it comes to talking and thinking simultaneously. I mean more in the broad sense of having a lot on my mind and being in deep thought. I used to be quiet and shy but I've come out of my shell a lot and now I rarely shut up to the dismay of my nearest and dearest. And I'm sure the fact that I spew my jumbled thoughts out at lightning speed does nothing to ease their discomfort. But whenever I find myself in that state of mind where I become more reserved it is most likely a sign that I need to be alone with my thoughts somewhat. Not that I need to isolate myself like I used to when I was younger. Just more like I need to have some conversations within myself, find my balance. And I am definitely at that place now!

I'm letting people down by not being strong enough. I'm used to be the strong one wherever I am but recently life has been challenging, though in all honesty I am probably being hyperbolic about it all. So while I'm busy being selfish and whatever else, I feel like family and friends must be feeling let down by my absence. I should be there to help them and advice them but I'm falling short and that has to change.

I hope to God I know what I am doing. I'm making a decision to become more independent...or something along those lines. I am trying to take life into my own hands, more or less. It's hard but I am my father's daughter so it isn't impossible. I just hope to God I wont make any damaging mistakes that is all.