Random Compilation

I have a flu today, plus I have so much I need to sort out but in the spirit of sharing, here are a few of my private thoughts:

I get quieter when I'm thinking. Not in the sense of thinking while having a conversation, no. I'm practically a multitask-er when it comes to talking and thinking simultaneously. I mean more in the broad sense of having a lot on my mind and being in deep thought. I used to be quiet and shy but I've come out of my shell a lot and now I rarely shut up to the dismay of my nearest and dearest. And I'm sure the fact that I spew my jumbled thoughts out at lightning speed does nothing to ease their discomfort. But whenever I find myself in that state of mind where I become more reserved it is most likely a sign that I need to be alone with my thoughts somewhat. Not that I need to isolate myself like I used to when I was younger. Just more like I need to have some conversations within myself, find my balance. And I am definitely at that place now!

I'm letting people down by not being strong enough. I'm used to be the strong one wherever I am but recently life has been challenging, though in all honesty I am probably being hyperbolic about it all. So while I'm busy being selfish and whatever else, I feel like family and friends must be feeling let down by my absence. I should be there to help them and advice them but I'm falling short and that has to change.

I hope to God I know what I am doing. I'm making a decision to become more independent...or something along those lines. I am trying to take life into my own hands, more or less. It's hard but I am my father's daughter so it isn't impossible. I just hope to God I wont make any damaging mistakes that is all.

The Fray - Be Still (Scars And Stories)

Criminal Minds brings awesome quotes and beautiful music

He's Gone to Hong Kong

I love to easily and fall too hard...that's always been my problem!

I suppose I should start by informing you that there is a he...a pretty amazing he if you ask me; what do I know?? I'm biased!
Anyway he exists and he is a beautiful mind, with amazing insight on everything. Now as a sapiosexual find his mind to be one of the most attractive things since Samuel Johnson's dictionary.
We've been dating for a while and I think it's definitely a good sign that I have taken things surprisingly slow with him. It could have been slower, no doubt. But this is the slower I have ever gone and I commend myself if no one else will.
Unfortunately, or fortunately as you choose to look at it, he is in Hong Kong for the week. Alongside a team of three other apparent brainiacs, he plans to dazzle a roomful of people and I'll miss it...and I'll miss him more than I actually thought I would in all honesty. I already checked and found that he will get there at 2 am my time and 6 am HK time...
Well that's it. Just needed to share that with my keyboard.

Au revoir 

My Loves

The power of words

People think “I love you” are the words that express the most emotions, understandably. But in an age where the phrase is often overused, and wrongly so, I think we can safely assume that there are some variations that are more powerful. For example I recently heard this one: “It’s a different feeling isn’t it, when you’re touched by someone who loves you?” For me, not only is that powerful, it’s unique. One phrase that is often underestimated though is this one:

I WILL WAIT FOR YOU.

How many of us have ever said this? Or better still, how many have had this said to them? I admit I have said it before, and I meant it when I said it. But we say a lot in the heat of the moment without realizing its impact.

Before I go further, I must admit, I am a true believer in the use of “I love you” when it is applied properly and used appropriately, not just flung around willy nilly.  But I also believe there are many other great phrases that remain unexplored, like the aforementioned I will wait for you. Which ever way you choose to spin it, the meaning is clear and simple; you’re telling this person that you are committed, that no matter how long you are apart you shall patiently (and often celibately) await your reunion. That’s a big commitment to see through. Much like I love you these words are powerful and often used in the heat of the moment and often regretted later. Here you are, bound by the most uncertain of vows, and yet feeling an obligation to see them through to the end. Turning to someone after making such a vow and then saying what essentially amounts to, “I’m not as patient as I thought I could be and moreover you aren’t really worth the wait”, is one of the most devastating ways to shatter ones perception of romance.

Essentially, what this entire ramble comes down to is this. We use words without considering their meanings and impacts. We throw heavy words around serious conversations and expect that no damage will ever be done. But even the most advanced bulletproof vest couldn’t shield you from the impact of words.

Stabbings in England

I know I don't live in England anymore but the truth is I still have a lot of ties there. England is home to me in many ways, not that this fact makes me less Nigerian. Yesterday I got some bad news. A close friend of mine got stabbed by another close friend. He had to go to the hospital for about three days and only just got out yesterday. At first I was so shocked that I could barely type. And then I was crying without realising and repeating 'oh no' to myself like that would make a difference! I mean these people mean a lot to me, they are practically family and in the unlikely case that I am making a least of the most likey to get stabbed out of all my friends, their names wouldn't come out at the top!

So I spent most of yesterday confused and afraid for a friend who very nearly lost his life and no longer feels safe in his own home. Reality slapped me harder than it has in a while and I realised how unprepared I was to lose a loved one. Also, it taught me forgiveness, because my friend is willing to forgive the person who did this to him and I know I wouldn't be that willing. I mean I'm a forgiving person but I also love my life, contrary to popular belief.

Anyhow in some ways this event is the wake up call I needed, to live life to the fullest but not necessarily to throw caution to the wind. I hope you all take this initiative as well; it's a lesson well learned.

Random Update

Well the last few days have been mellow to say the least. Saturday night I had no sleep and I had a test at 9:45am Sunday morning...so I had a bit of a marathon but luckily today I had a late start so I could pass out :)

And no you didn't read that wrong; I do have to drag my butt out of bed on Sundays to go to school...
In Dubai (and I think other middle eastern countries, not sure) the weekend is Friday and Saturday because their Friday is their holy day of course. So therefore the week starts on Sunday :/ I know, I can't get used to it either...

Also I was supposed to submit something for a creative writing competition, but I missed the deadline because I have a lot of work to do.

I really need to find a way to live without sleep

It feels good to be back :)

Emeli Sande - Read All About It Part 3

you've got the words to change a nation but you're biting your tongue