Sigh and Sigh Again.

Yes I have been away too long. However I have come to realise a number of things in my time away.

1. God answers prayers. No doubt about it.
2. I have obsessed uncontrollably about my father this year, as illustrated by my 'expressionism' blog with the many 'daddy issues' poems.
3. I'm not as strong as used to be.
4. This year has been most difficult and I cannot wait for it too be over.
5. I scare way too easily.
6. And my temper has been....well it has been the temper of old, and that's not good, for anyone.

Now let me explain:

1 I realised this all over again yesterday when someone I had been worrying about since April suddenly re-appeared! Now I don't want to 'jinx' things (not that I'm the superstitious type) but hopefully she is here to stay this time.

2 All I can say is this year has been tough and it hasn't helped that I have spent so much time mourning someone who died 13 years ago! I love and miss my father; who wouldn't? And morbid as it may sound I was happy to find that I wasn't the only one.

3 I used to pride myself in my reputation as a strong minded person who can get through anything in one piece. I used to have faith! Now it seems I have spent most of my year being a blubbering, mess in private and in public. Seriously?

4 As I have alluded, this year has not been fun (generally speaking of course. It hasn't all been bad.) But I am hoping that things will get better, preferably soon.

5 I'm not just talking about spiders and heights-though those phobia's do pack a punch-I mean emotionally. I realised this year that I am a commitment-phobe! I mean I always thought I was all for love. And apparently loving isn't the issue. Its not running a mile as soon as I realise that I am in love, that's the problem.

6 Ah and the famous temper! I fear I am well on my way to losing many friends at this rate. I seem to be losing it with people on a regular basis! Luckily my flatmates have only had to deal with crying Amina not Angry Amina, not that i am proud of that. But it is what it is.

And while all this is happening I am left wondering...What do you do when you find some numbers on your phone but you don't remember who they belong to, especially when they are saved under such pseudonym's as sexy beast? And furthermore, what do you do when you fall?

disappear

well OK I know I said daily blog but I didn't say definitely. And yes i have been AWOL (MIA...whatever u chose to call it!) for a significant time now. i have missed u all :P and i have actually been a very very busy girl :D

firstly lectures have kicked in full force now. i am still doin journalism but i also had to pick another course for 40 extra credits. and like the fool that i am i picked English literature....dont get me wrong i love the idea behind the course; its the practice that's killing me! not only do i ave to purchase books at ridiculous prices, i also have to read them at a super human pace while simultaneously criticising them, analysing them, and writing about them! in journalism we tend to just have a hellish amount of notes A LOT of reading material and very little time.

TIME! it seems to be flying by here. i feel like i waste my days and party away my nights. and when thts not the case i have a huge work load too! furthermore i have invincible deadlines to work towards which has undoubtedly left me in a bit of a panic...it isnt sounding glamorous is it guys?? well then dont even get me started on spending haha.

i have achieved something of value so far....today i handed in wat i class as my first published article :) believe me wen i say i will be keeping a clippin if it makes the paper. i signed up to write a very short article for the uni paper and i suddenly feel like an accomplished writer! i have been writing my little poetic anecdotes for wat feels like an eternity and suddenly this possibility of minor recognition has gotten me excited! i'll say no more ;)

so i think it would be the understatement of the century if i proclaimed now tht i am stressed but my stress levels are continuously rising L&Gs....

we've all done it (more or less :P) nite out. make a new 'friend', wake up, memory floods back, he/she was F-UGLY! but u'll never see them again rite?? its like coyote ugly without the one nite stand! OR IS IT! few weeks later u run into ur F-UGLY friend and if ur lucky u both jst walk rite by each other but either way.................UNIVERSAL CRINGE!

i must say its the worst thing ever whether u take note of each other. its the same feelin as remembering a particularly embarrassing childhood experience like...oh i dunno....peeing urslf in class! haha (i dont care wat u say IT WASNT ME!)

to be fair tho things could be far worse...

regardless of the work load i am enjoying both my courses which isnt always the case. and yes it is a struggle to remain awake in lectures at times but thts more a combination of cosy rooms and not enuff sleep :P

i have incredible flatmates who are helping me organise a birthday party....coming soon!

i have friends and family who i am in touch with constantly...maybe a tad too much for an independent gal?? :P

and i cant stop smiling a lot of the time...make of that what u will. :D

i leave u with one last ramble.....

u simply havent lived until u've been woken up by.....A 7:30 FIRE DRILL!!!!!

let down!

aw guys i feel like i have let the team down! i havent been faithful to the daily reports!!

however i am sure u'll be glad to know tht i ave been out having fun on ur behalfs :D yh the last few days-and nites-have been very interestin indeed. i have met some lovely people, had my first argument (ish :P), and had the least sleep posssible! people i am runnin on caffine here! which explains the lack of motivation in this latest entry haha

i just got back from my first induction lecture (which i started at a ridiculous time btw!) and i now kno other journalism ppl! i dnt feel like a loner anymore! haha they were all lovely and all quite different but i still relate to them in a different way...on an academic level so to speak (tho i do remember stealing a jagerbomb from one of them in the SU)

the stress is startin to kick in now but i am still enjoying myself i have jst had some noodles! nigerian ones ofc they are called indomie btw they are so lush lol

we are having curry tonite i think we all seem to be luvin all this sharin and carin atm lets hope it lasts :D

i ave already made amazing friends here i think; so no matter wat i've got tht :) xoxo

first nite out

so last nite i was way too wasted to have come on here coz i wld ave made no sense and i was pretty tired too.

but lets start from the top....

my flat mates finally arrived but i couldnt do the meet and greet coz i had spent the nite wiv family friends (who were so lovely by the way considerin i jst took over their sofa!) so wen i arrived they were all like hey! we r now four of us and the last two are comin soon!

so they went to sort out their freshers wristbands which i couldnt do because-long story short-am a bit of a twit lol but i got a ticket for the nite anyways so we could all hang out...

some how or the other we ended up making quite a few new friends includin two other lovely gurlies :D

so we all went out together promising to stick it thru the whole night together and get eachother home in one piece...which is lucky coz i am so useless wen am drunk haha

the nite was brilliant! and even tho we got split up at some points we all found eachother and left together :D and i met a lovely guy hu i snogged a lot den? dan? danny? dennis? one of them anyways lol

best part of all i didnt spend tht much! we had such an awesome time and we were safe and clever with money and stuck together regardless of all d perves-and there were a couple haha

its anite i wont forget in a hurry and there seem to be many more of these to come!

here's to three years of WOW! xoxo

ramblings

ok today was exciting in a whole new way lol

first of all love the weather! dont get me wrong it's still very british ie go out in shorts and flip flops-stop off at primark for wellies and a raincoat. but i lived in manchester for the last few years and anything is an upgrade from that! i dont think i've even seen the inside of a bus since i got here. i ave walked every where and loved it! it seems i wont be getting obese at uni after all :D

today i must ave done hours and hours of walking it's insane and yes i am tired but not pissed off, which is unusual in it self :D

the thing tht cardiff is makin me realise is that i am more grown up and independent than i give myself credit for. i managed to get lost today which is inevitable. but i didnt panick, and i was prepared when it started raining and i found my way round without even asking any1.....ok i kno wat u r thinking-if i'm lost i shld ask for directions rite??
but i wanted to do it myself. i wanted to find my way round cardiff and only ask wen i knew there was no hope left. and it never really got to tht point today.

i am loving the fact tht my whole family seems to be more panicked bout this than i am. i wasnt expecting this reaction ave gotta tell u. but obv. i was wrong...yet again.

oh i must admit an embarrasing display of socialising due to the effects of freshers flu...pathetic i kno but its my excuse and am sticking to it :P

so i ave basically spent my day aving a wander round cardiff and smiling shamelessly i wander when the BUT comes in :D

one thing remains the same though in practically everywhere i ave been to. however large or small, city or village, rat race or quaint town, urbarn or urbane...the pervy old 'man' (and by man i mean men!) they seemed to be evrywhere today!

welcome welcome welcome!

sssssssssssssssoooooooooooooo for the few ppl who are familiar with how awesome i am already (no joke!) this is something new to tantalize ur.....

ok who am i kidding?? my name is amina waya and like most ppl my age i have recently started university in cardiff i write poetry (and/supposedly other things) but this is somethin more relevant to who i wanna be :)

so i arrived a little earlier than most other freshers. but i am lucky enuff to have some family friends in the area and one of them inspired this so...

THANK U MUSCLES PULL!

for the more normal ppl in the world ignore tht last comment ;)

well to finally get to the point, this blog is going to act as an online journal of the next three/four years of my life in cardiff. i will be informing u (whether u care to know or not) of all the wonderfully wierd, amazing, outstanding and down right drool worthy moments. ideally i would like to update it daily but i make no promises :D i hope u enjoy reading it as much as i enjoy writing it....