Firstly I think it's important to clarify a few points because it seems a lot of
people are unaware or unwilling to be made aware about the reality of male
rape.
- Male rape is not as prevalent as female rape by any means but it happens. It is very real.
- Men can be raped by men and women. No this isn't up for discussion.
- Just as female rape isn't humorous in anyway, male rape isn't remotely funny or acceptable either.
So why is male rape a female problem? Simple. Because victims of male
rape are unfortunately considered weak or 'effeminate' by society if they come
forward about their assault. Now I rarely dislike words but the connotations
behind the word 'effeminate' is something that has always bugged me. I remember
it first from Tennessee Williams' A Streetcar Named Desire as
Blanche Dubois uses it to describe her first husband. Later on I saw it used to describe men in a derogatory way and the negative connotations in my mind have sort of spiraled out of control.
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| Thank you Google... |
Words are powerful so when we spend years describing men that don't fit into our stereotype of masculinity as effeminate, meaning of a feminine nature, and we believe this to be an insult, then we accept that women are beneath men, weak, vain, affected, 'campy', 'faggy'. We perpetuate the lie that being feminine means all these things and then we expect the women in our society to remain feminine so we can continue to see them as being weak. Then it becomes such a part of society and our thought process that men genuinely do not feel comfortable coming forward about such a traumatising issue because heaven forbid someone thinks they are 'like a typical woman'.
So although male rape has disastrous consequences for its victims. We cannot overlook what this means for society's ranking of women either. As such, like much else, it becomes the responsibility of women to explain that being considered one of us isn't the worst part of your experience; there's a lifetime of trauma to worry about as well.
