Monday 17 February 2014

Collab Post: 'Tis the season to be loving...

PHASE RANT: Where did all the love go?

Well I'm sure everyone is coming off the high of Valentine's weekend now. I hope you enjoyed it. On my way home tonight I saw a crushed rose, the remnants of the weekend of love.

Karl Marx must be doing cartwheels in his grave because he warned us but we ignored. Love is now seen as a commodity, something you can buy and sell. The reason I believe this is so prevalent is because people find meaning for love, as with most things, in the media. As a media student and practitioner I am SORRY to break this to you but the media is as much a part of capitalist society as any other institution. It is the media's job is to tell you what to buy. The media tells you through music that love and sex are the same thing. It tells you through movies that love is spontaneous, romantic, feisty, exciting and will always work out in the end. It tells you through advertising that to be successful and to love you need to buy everything from the right house to the right car, own the right pets, shop in the right supermarkets etc. Somewhere down the line love and money began to merge and we have not been the same since. There are 365 days in a year (366 in those odd ball fun years of surplus). Why is this one day such a big deal? Why do people go crazy in anticipation of one day then carry on with their lives afterwards like love is a mythical creature that only appears during full moons? Well because telling you to buy love everyday is not quite enough. People will lose interest after a while. But when you have that one special day where you can buy love and buy it extravagantly then you've really hit the mark. Thus Valentine's day, a day when many people celebrate the shallow misrepresentation of 21st Century through the trivialities provided us.

Everything I know love to be is Biblical. I can't separate the two. And as such I cant separate one kind of love from another. I imagine that the way I love my husband would be similar to the way I love my mother-except the baby making part. As Christians we believe that God sent His only son down from heaven to be human and live amongst us in the flesh, suffering the same temptations we suffer but remaining steadfast to the Father. He lived a pure and holy life that was a blessing to all around him. That life was consequently cut short for our sake. So that our sins may be forgiven and we may be considered pure before the Father he sacrificed His life for our salvation. A love that runs so deeply is a rarity in these times of fleeting pleasures. Yet I will accept nothing less. This is what we should celebrate. Sacrificial love. A feeling so pure and so true that you'd give up your very last breath so that the one you love can breathe. Is anyone capable of that?

Museboxxe: Romantic Love, as told by someone who’s never experienced it.

When I was a child, I remember asking my mother why all the songs on the radio were about love. 
“Why can’t they write music about animals?” I had asked (it was my “animal phase”, when I was determined to become a vet, before realising I was actually terrible at science). 
“What’s so interesting about love?”
My mother had chuckled then, giving one of those infuriating smiles that said: Never you mind; you’re too young to understand.

As it turns out, I still don’t understand, much to the horror and amusement of most people around me. Don’t get me wrong, I understand many aspects of love, but they all fall in the friendship and family categories. I’ve yet to experience true romantic love, where I dream about spending my life with one person, raising a family and getting old and wrinkly together. 

It’s hard to imagine love as the Disney princess version, especially in these modern times. Nowadays, we don’t expect a Prince Charming to come riding in on his white horse, whilst the ladies primp and preen waiting for him: the modern world is much different. 

There are so many representations of love: the brokenhearted ballads or clichéd chick-flicks (that somehow only come out in cinema around Valentine’s day), the Romeo & Juliet style of love at first sight, to the tales of slowly falling in love with your best friend. It’s overwhelming. I can’t help but wonder: which story will be mine? Will I be swept off my feet or experience a forbidden love? Or will I realise that all along, my life partner has been right beside me? It’s one benefit of never experiencing love before: the unexpected. I don’t know how it will happen, so I’m free to daydream- though I suppose this could blur into a negative aspect if I decided to set the bar too high for myself. After all, if I’m fantasising about dramatic movie-esque scenarios, then Sod’s Law dictates that it has a 0% chance of actually happening.

When you think about it, love sounds terrifying: the complete vulnerability of entrusting someone with everything you are, wilfully handing over your fragile heart and praying it won’t be returned to you in pieces. Then there’s the commitment, deciding to tie yourself down for the rest of your life to one person, making every decision based on the fact that it might affect your other half. 

I imagine love to be like this: always wanting to be with one another, feeling incomplete without that person. When you have the same silly sense of humour and you text them because something you saw reminds you of them. When you want the other person to be happy no matter what, even if it means sacrificing some of your own happiness, because no matter what, they come first. I imagine love is a tingle of warmth in your fingertips when they hold your hand, spreading throughout your body. I imagine it keeps you smiling even in the most dire of situations, simply because you’re with them. When you look at everyone else round you and wonder if any of them are even capable of feeling what you feel. I think love is handing everything you are and giving one person the absolute power to destroy you- and trusting that they won’t.

I imagine after all the possible hurt and heartbreak and torment, love is worth the wait.