- God answers prayers. No doubt about it.
- I have obsessed uncontrollably about my father this year, as illustrated by my 'expressionism' blog with the many 'daddy issues' poems.
- I'm not as strong as used to be.
- This year has been most difficult and I cannot wait for it too be over.
- I scare way too easily.
- And my temper has been....well it has been the temper of old, and that's not good, for anyone.
Now let me explain:
1 I realised this all over again yesterday when someone I had been worrying about since April suddenly re-appeared! Now I don't want to 'jinx' things (not that I'm the superstitious type) but hopefully she is here to stay this time.
2 All I can say is this year has been tough and it hasn't helped that I have spent so much time mourning someone who died 13 years ago! I love and miss my father; who wouldn't? And morbid as it may sound I was happy to find that I wasn't the only one.
3 I used to pride myself in my reputation as a strong minded person who can get through anything in one piece. I used to have faith! Now it seems I have spent most of my year being a blubbering, mess in private and in public. Seriously?
4 As I have alluded, this year has not been fun (generally speaking of course. It hasn't all been bad.) But I am hoping that things will get better, preferably soon.
5 I'm not just talking about spiders and heights-though those phobia's do pack a punch-I mean emotionally. I realised this year that I am a commitment-phobe! I mean I always thought I was all for love. And apparently loving isn't the issue. Its not running a mile as soon as I realise that I am in love, that's the problem.
6 Ah and the famous temper! I fear I am well on my way to losing many friends at this rate. I seem to be losing it with people on a regular basis! Luckily my flatmates have only had to deal with crying Amina not Angry Amina, not that i am proud of that. But it is what it is.
And while all this is happening I am left wondering...What do you do when you find some numbers on your phone but you don't remember who they belong to, especially when they are saved under such pseudonym's as sexy beast? And furthermore, what do you do when you fall?
